The Adjustment- learning to live from who you really are.
When I first was invited, to "Come to the Table" in a vision that God had shown me, it was a beautiful experience. It seemed like an open door. I learnt some things instantly in that moment but I knew that there was also so much more for me to understand and experience. There was an adjustment required – a transition from how I was living, to living as He intended for me.
Prior to receiving this vision, I had gone through a time of loss. To most people it would have just looked like transition or change in our life but it was mixed with unseen loss and pain. Without going into the detail, our family stepped out of leadership, and I resigned from a pastoral position in a church that had been, and still is, so close to our hearts. Consequently
I was feeling lost, small and insignificant when God invited me (quite clearly in my mind) to "Come to the Table". It was there that I sat and learnt that God has invited me into family and not into business. He has called me because He loves me, and not for what I can do for Him. A place where I could rest in Him and with Him, where He would strengthen me, lead me and grow me. In this I felt secure, loved and inspired to love others in this way.
Experiencing this picture for the first time was the easy part. Making the adjustment to live it out has been significantly more challenging. And while I am still very much learning how to do this for myself, I want to share a few things that have really helped me so far.
Practice
Every time God shows me a picture or vision, I chose to remember and re-imagine them sometimes daily. In the same way fearful thoughts can be crippling, so beautiful revelation, run through the same brain and emotion can bring about life. God doesn't just speak to ears and eyes but to hearts and imaginations. So each day before work I take time to remember God speaking to me as He had in the vision. I remember the invitation and the feeling of sitting at the table......and I feel the peace that came with it. Even at work when I feel stress or anxiety creep in, I try to stop for maybe 30 seconds and remember God’s smile and His words "come to the table". I imagine myself sitting at the table and then I get back to work. As I have developed this habit, I have noticed that God has more to say on the matter and there are deeper levels of understanding for me to explore. Despite how funny this may sound, practice your experience. Remind yourself of it. Revisit it.
“To remember it is to relive it.”
Position
I believe God shows us what He wants to do in us and through us and, as hard as it is, we must trust what God is doing in us even when we don't see it. So, with wisdom and advice from trusted friends, put yourself in a position or place where the revelation or fresh understanding you have received from God will be both encouraged and exercised.
“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.”
What this looked like for me was to say ‘yes!’ To believe and trust in God’s call on my life with my actions. To say yes to a mission’s trip; yes to preach; yes to share this blog. What do you feel God doing or stirring on the inside of you? Now take courage and take steps to action it out. And share you plan with those you trust. If you tell others what you are feeling and experiencing and what you plan to do about it, it's harder to forget or ignore.
Prayer
To put it simply, allow time for God to continue to speak to you, encourage and lead you. Soften your heart before him.
I got the opportunity to put these three things into practice simultaneously when I went on a short term missions trip to Indonesia. During the trip I was blown away to find so many different people putting into words God’s invitation to "Come to the Table". In songs, in people's prayers and even in other people sharing their visions and revelations. By far the most memorable example was connecting with a woman named Nicola from Malaysia who had a vision from God that was almost identical to mine in every detail. My heart was so full when I heard her story and I experienced such a wonderful presence of God as we talked about what God has done in us on our journeys. At no other time in my life can I remember feeling such a sweet presence of God. By this I mean such joy, peace and love and knowing my God was the author of it all. The next day I was asked to share my experience at a small conference. I was excited. In worship I felt the closest to heaven I have ever felt but things changed about an hour or two before sharing my testimony and I felt a dark heaviness come over me. I could no longer feel God’s presence and I couldn’t imagine forming the words to share His heart. During this time, a friend prayed with me which encouraged me and I then had to choose to trust God when I did not feel it at all. I re-imagined my invitation to the table as I had first seen and I prayed for God’s leading. Even while praying for others, I was reminding myself of God’s invitation to me. In the end we saw people healed, blessed and hugely encouraged in their faith. But it was very nearly the opposite for me.
A couple of years ago I had the blessing of sitting with a group of people in the lounge of pastor Paul Yadao as he spoke about stewarding what God has given us. He said that so many chase blessing after blessing but if we were to steward what God has already shown us we would see the fruit of that. Our job is not to make the seed grow but to make our heart like the fertile soil in which God’s seed can grow.
As we adjust and learn to live from who God has made us to be we must remember, relive, and position ourselves in the best place and around the best people to do so.
